As a doctor, let me tell you what self-love does:
It improves your hearing, your eyesight, lowers your blood pressure, increases pulmonary function, cardiac output, and helps wiring the musculature. So, if we had a rampant epidemic of self-love then our healthcare costs would go down dramatically. So, this isn’t just some little frou-frou new age notion, oh love yourself honey. This is hardcore science.
A common tactic of sex offenders is the manipulation of the love of their victims through presenting themselves as the real victims who should be pitied.
Through presenting females as the ones responsible for males’ impurity, Purity culture presents men as the “real” victims. Males are referred to as “weaker” because of their “visual” and “sexual” nature. They are victims of their hormones, sexualized media, female bodies, women’s clothing choices and desires. Women are admonished to care for their weaker brothers by restricting their freedom to dress in ways they desire.
Women are conditioned to be other-aware instead of self-aware. They are encouraged to always consider men before themselves. This is presented as a female manifestation of godly love but it is really a manifestation of the belief that women do not matter as much as men. We were designed to please and serve men. These are dangerous beliefs that sex offenders exploit and they have real consequences.
You fill a bucket drop by drop. You clear your mind thought by thought. You heal yourself moment by moment. Today I make one drop, clear one thought, and get present to one moment. And then I do it again.
When he decides he doesn’t love you anymore,
here is what you do: Move on quietly. Love yourself
when your little girl
asks you if she’s pretty
your heart will drop like a wineglass
on the hardwood floor
part of you will want to say
of course you are, don’t ever question it
and the other part
the part that is clawing at
will want to grab her by her shoulders
look straight into the wells of
her eyes until they echo back to you
you do not have to be if you don’t want to
it is not your job
both will feel right
one will feel better
she will only understand the first
when she wants to cut her hair off
or wear her brother’s clothes
you will feel the words in your
mouth like marbles
you do not have to be pretty if you don’t want to
it is not your job
We teach girls shame; close your legs, cover yourself, we make them feel as though by being born female they’re already guilty of something.